Poetry Found by Sue Walker

Jenny Joseph (1932-)

Warning

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples’ gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Runner’s Warning

When I am an old woman, I shall go running
With singlet and short shorts, and reflective tabard
And I shall spend my pension on sports drinks and water bottles
And running shoes, and say I missed my pb by seconds.
I shall walk along muttering when I’m tired
And gobble up samples from exhibitions and pee al fresco
And run through crowds of people shopping
And make up for the lethargy of my youth.
I shall go out running in the rain
And get sweaty and covered with mud from the fields
And learn to spit.

You can wear fluorescent lycra and not be fast
And eat three pounds of bananas at a go
Or only sauce and pasta for a week
And hoard socks and Compeeds and medals and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to go running.

Anonymous (with thanks to Jenny Joseph, if only she knew)